Here’s the deal: I was never a huge fan of banana pudding—it was fine. No big deal. It was sweet. It was 6 out of 10 on the potluck table. When someone handed me some of this version—Paula Deen’s “Not Yo Mama’s Banana Pudding”—I basically short-circuited. This isn’t banana pudding, it’s… other. Its unbelievably over-the-top, fluffy, creamy deliciousness makes you forget that it’s basically just layered ingredients in a dish.
And yes, it has one of those titles that makes you roll your eyes a little, but after you eat it—you understand. It’s named like that because your mom’s version of yummy, blessings, didn’t do this.
So if you have issues with sugar and a sweet tooth, this dessert is one of those desserts that will hijack your life for a little while. You’ll make it once, and every time you have an event after—family dinner, a birthday, or Sunday when you have nothing to do—all of a sudden you start to make up excuses to make this dessert again. You have been warned.
Ingredients
Okay, here’s what you need. And yes, this is not light. This is full-send dessert. Enjoy calorie-free fun:
- 2 Bags of Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies (or vanilla wafers if that’s your thing, both work fine)
- 6 to 8 Bananas, sliced (not green, not mush—right in the middle)
- 2 Cups whole milk
- 1 Box (5 oz.) instant French Vanilla pudding mix
- 1 Package (8 oz.) cream cheese
- 1 Can (14 oz.) of sweetened condensed milk
- 1 Container (12 oz.) frozen whipped topping, thawed (or homemade sweetened whipped cream if you’re feeling ambitious)
Instructions
First, you’ll need to pull out a 13×9 dish. You know the one—it’s probably sitting under the pan you never use in your cabinet. Place a single layer of cookies at the bottom. Chessmen have this buttery element that sort of kicks it up a notch, but wafers do the trick too. Then lay your slices of banana directly on top of that. Don’t be cheap. Be generous. You want banana in every bite.
Okay, now it’s mixing time. You will need two bowls. For the first bowl, whisk the milk with the pudding mix. An electric mixer helps. You want smooth pudding, not a gloopy mess. You want “cloud-like vanilla dream,” not “lumpy bad decision.”
Using the second bowl, blend the cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk. This part of the project feels weird at first, but it comes together quickly, and then all of a sudden you’ve got this thick, rich, creamy situation. Then it’s time to fold in your whipped topping. Fold, fold, fold. It will start to get very airy and soft, and you’ll wonder if this is even allowed.
All you have to do now is mix those two bowls together. It’s kind of a lovely moment. All of the creamy things swirling into one… larger creamy thing.
Next, pour the entire mixture over your banana-cookie layer and spread it on top, as if you’re putting it to bed. Try to smooth it all the way to the corners. You want every inch covered. And then—a FINAL cookie layer on top. Like a little cookie blanket. You can make it neat or just throw them on—no judgment here.
The cooling part
The harsh reality? You have to wait. The refrigerator should have it sit for at least four hours, but overnight is much better. It just needs time to set and cool and let the cookies start to get a little soggy. Take my word for it—it’s worth all that wait. You will open the refrigerator the next day and it will be there: chilled, creamy, banana-y goodness just sitting there like a reward for having made it to this point in time.
And then when you scoop into it, you get all of the layers of soft cookie, silky pudding, sweet banana, and that tangy cream cheese twist. It’s rich in a good way, sweet without being sickeningly sweet, and somehow even people that “don’t like bananas” will keep stealing bites.
And just remember—this is not a delicate plated dessert. This is a scoopable dessert. It is messy. The kind of dessert people stand around eating out of the dish while pretending they are “just sampling.” There will not be leftovers. There will only be silence, spoons, and maybe a few people asking, “Wait, who made this?”
So if you are up for making something decadent without baking or caramelizing or sifting flour like you are on The Great British Bake Off, this is your recipe. Paula Deen might get crapped on for a lot of things, but this recipe? Kind of brilliant.
Just don’t be surprised if you become the “banana pudding person” forever. It happens.
