It’s strange how it creeps up on you. Creepy and super sad. One day, your parents are just your parents, the same as they’ve always been, and the next day you start realizing things. Slow movement, forgetfulness, or asking for help with something they never would have dreamed of needing help with before, and then it just, well… lands on you at once. That quiet little realization: they are aging. Not in an abstract “someday” way, but right now, right this second. Personally the first time I realized that, I cried. I literally cried my eyes out.
It’s a little unsettling. Not because it’s wrong, but because you’re not really prepared for this time when it happens. And maybe we aren’t supposed to be. But even if the image of your parents getting older is uncomfortable or feels a little surreal, it does not mean there is nothing to be done about it. You are not powerless. In fact, there are a lot of things you can do to help support them as they navigate this chapter of their lives, to help make sure they are not just getting by but doing okay—mentally, physically, the whole ride.
There are things you can do to help them stay healthy, logical and as comfortable as possible, in spite of the changes. It’s not all bad, many of us have to do it, it’s just… a different chapter, one we all have to do eventually.
1. Get Them Up To Date On Technology
We definitely do not want them to become technology gurus. It is simple and effective for them to set up a phone or social media, so they can follow and communicate with family and friends. Simply being able to video chat with their loved ones can help them feel like they are part of everything. There are many phones/social media/video chat tools that are simple to use, and could be taught to your parents.
2. Get Active
The worst part, to be honest, is when they start to lounge around all day. Not because they are lazy, necessarily, it just happens. You start going out less, the routines start to narrow and then, before you know it, you’ve got someone practically immobile. Now, getting them active is not just a “nice to have” at that age – it actually matters. For their body sure, but also for their mindset, their memory, all of it.
And you do not have to get a whole fitness regime planned either. Just getting them up for a walk, or a bike ride perhaps if they are still enjoying that, or a swim; things that are gentle, but still moving them. It’s better if you join in the activity with them, not just suggesting it and leaving them to it. It makes it feel like something to look forward to instead of feeling like a chore.
3. Promote Hobbies
If your aging parent has previously enjoyed a certain hobby, now is the time to promote it. Staying interested in activities they enjoy is a simple way to keep them healthy, happy, and engaged. If your parent has never really had a hobby before, why not suggest one? Birdwatching, knitting, crocheting, painting, crosswords, gardening, walking, and volunteering are all great hobbies for seniors.
4. Get Outside
If your aging parent isn’t able to be super active, it’s at least important to get outside. There are so many benefits of fresh air, sunshine, and taking in the great outdoors. Sitting in the park with a book is certainly superior to staying cooped up in the house all day.
5. Prioritize Visits
Look, everybody’s busy too! Work is never ending; kids have stuff going on; your phone is never quiet. There’s always some reason, right? And yes, it is hard to find the time. But here’s the thing, for your parents (especially when they get older) those short visits? They’re not short. That could be one of the things when they actually look forward to all week.
And it’s not just about being there, it’s how it feels. Having a group of people around, i.e. noise, conversations, whatever. That makes them feel like they are part of the world, makes them feel like they matter; it keeps their minds active. They need contacts! It helps way more than you think. Feeling part of something, and remembered… goes a long way.
So yes, try to show up when you can, especially if you have a million other things going on. Really try. Maybe even nag your siblings or cousins to show up too! It doesn’t have to be a big deal! Just showing up at all, even for a minute, could change their entire day!
6. Discuss Senior Living Options
If your parents still live at home without assistance, it may be time to talk about what the future will hold. If the finances allow and your parents want to continue to live at home, there is always the option of hiring an in-home aid at some point. Make sure to discuss it with your parents well in advance. Make sure they have a voice in the decision making process – it will make everyone’s life easier when the time comes. And if you’re unsure where to start, consider reviewing this helpful list of questions to ask your aging parents to better understand their preferences and priorities.
