So this, um— this came up in a housewife group and kind of went off— some woman had just moved into a new house and discovered a little metal device stuck to the underside of her kitchen cabinet. Like, it was just there, attached to the bottom. And of course, she had no idea what it was. I mean imagine if you found some jagged circular metal object with teeth under your cabinets and literally just sat there and stared at it like it was a gremlin trap or some shit. Anyway, she posts a picture. Asks people about it, and it turns out— it is an under-the-cabinet jar opener from the late 80s or early 90s. Seriously. They exist. Or they used to. How kind of rad and oddly useful.
So here is the thing. This was not decorative. This was a tool. A ridiculously utilitarian device, designed for opening hard-to-open jars— you know, the ones that are sealed shut by the fury of 1,000 suns. Instead of trying to mess with rubber grips or banging the jar on the counter edge while praying that you break the jar before the seal, this little tool is just… there. Mounted up under the cabinet, out of the way, and ready to fight your marinara sauce lid.
How does it actually work though?
Alright, so the idea is simple enough. Because the jar opener was mounted below the kitchen cabinet – it just lives there, like a part of the cabinetry if you will, but way less obvious.
You would only ever notice it if you looked up and laid down on the floor. This begs the question: why would you be adjusting yourself vertically like that unless you just dropped something? However, once you install it, you really don’t have to think about it. Unless you really need to open a crusty jar that has fought you while you were trying to pry it open – then it actually becomes your best friend!
The getting the thing up
The first part of the task is: locating where you want the thing to go. You can’t just throw it anywhere – it has to be convenient to reach, but also doesn’t get in the way. As an example, you may not want to put it within reach in an area where you lean over to slice onions or something. Then you will want to clean the area – because kitchen grease is subtle, and will land in the most awkward back corner of your cabinets. You would swear to God you’ve never placed food on such spots!
When done to the underside of the cabinet, you will need to mount the thing using screws (if it is new, the screws come with it; if it is used, who knows!). It’s screwed into the bottom of the cabinet – again, you do not want to half-fit it. So just make sure when you take the lid off something it does not wobble off, or rip off. And that’s it. There are no advanced handyman qualifications needed for this job!
Making it fit your jars
For the most part, most of these openers that I have seen are adjustable. Like, they are not one-size-fits-all – ’cause there’s a lot of different oddball diameters when it comes to jar lids. For instance, some have knobs that you turn, others have those weird sliding tooth things. Depending on the type, you basically have to match the grip part to the size of the jar lid to open. It isn’t rocket science, but it does take some adjustments.
The jar opening thing
So, once it is mounted and adjusted, you can actually use it. You take your jar, and ram the lid part up into the opener. The teeth (or rubber or whatever it is) will grip the lid. Then, you hold the jar still with one hand (unless you are coordinated enough to do it with one hand, in which case, ok) and you twist the jar. Or more accurately, you kind of pull and turn at the same time, depending on the model. Some have little levers, or rotating gizmos, but essentially it is just adding enough torque for you to break the seal.
It is pretty impressive how well it works, to be honest. Even jars that I would guarantee require a crowbar, or a phone call to a friend stronger than you, generally pop right open.
And that is basically it!
Once it loosens, you simply twist the rest off by hand. And that’s it! No gadgets on the counter, no fuss, no cursing at a jar of pickles like it personally wronged you.
So, yeah, the lady who wrote about it somewhat inadvertently reminded a lot of people these can openers existed. Now a lot of people will be digging around their cupboards to see if they have inherited one as well. It’s like retro kitchen tech. No flashiness, no intelligence, no Wi-Fi or connectivity. It still does precisely what it is supposed to do. If I am being honest about it? That’s a little scarce these days.
Anyway, if you are lucky enough to find one of these in your new home, don’t rip it out. Just give it a clean, maybe tighten the screws, and leave it there. It may very well save you next time you wheel out the jar of pasta sauce that has a lid on it sealed tighter than a bank vault.
