Ok. So just imagine: you’re ready to unwind after the long day, you might even have that perfect show queued up on your device, your snacks are within reach, and you pull out a nice bottle of wine — only to realize that you don’t have a corkscrew and it is, I don’t know, still in a moving box, or maybe you never owned one because you buy screw caps.
Regardless, the cork is there in front of you like it knows that it has won. I swear it happens at the worst moments, like the camping trip, or when you are trying to impress someone on a picnic. But take it easy — I have been there too, and I have a few not-so-basic, slightly MacGyver-esk tricks on getting this cork out. Here’s a description of six entertaining methods that I have either done myself, or have seen someone do with great success.
The Screw and Screwdriver Trick
So the first one is kind of brilliant because you feel like you’re building something, not merely opening wine. If you can find a regular screw (the longer the better) and a screwdriver, you will be ready to go. Find the cork, and twist in your screw — but not all the way through, just enough so that it is solidly stuck in the cork, then basically you wedge the screw head under the back end of the screwdriver, like a lever, and start to leverage the cork upwards.
You might need to rock it back and forth a couple of times, but it is super satisfying when you finally pop that thing off. Plus it makes you look like you know what you are doing, even in reality you absolutely don’t know what you are doing. Shoe and Wall Method
I know you’re probably thinking, “Why the hell would I hit my wine bottle with a shoe?” But bear with me, it works as I’ve pulled this out more than once when I was in desperate need. Stick the bottom of your wine bottle into a sturdy shoe – a sneaker or anything with some cushioning in the sole works best, so the base is gently cradled.
Now hold the neck tight, and while trying not to look too ridiculous… Tap the heel of the shoe (with the bottle in it) against a solid wall. No need to go full Hulk but a few solid thumps will really start pushing the cork out. The first time I did this I was convinced I was going to break the bottle but if you’re cautious, this works like a charm. Just have a few paper towel handy just in case..you get a little carried away.
Key to Success
This one is genius if you are only carrying your keys — which is basically always. Stick a key into the cork at an angle, like you’re trying to jam it in the diagonal position, and start turning it in small circles. The key will get some purchase inside the cork and as you keep turning you will start to see the cork slowly creep up. It feels almost like you’re unlocking your wine. I have came up with this once as a beach picnic when my other option was to smash the bottle on a rock…so it’s definitely a lifesaver! The only downside: your key may smell like wine afterwards, but is that really a downside?
Pump and Pop using a Bike Pump
Okay, hear me out on this one. It sounds ridiculous, but it works like a charm if you happen to have a bike pump handy (perhaps you are a cyclist or you just happen to have one in your garage perhaps?). You will need the kind with a needle attachment, similar to the ones you would use when pumping up a basketball.
Get the needle right through the cork, and keep pushing until the needle is deep inside the cork. Now start pumping air into the bottle. The pressure will begin to build up in the bottle, and eventually the cork will reliably push its way out with a pop! The first time I saw someone do this, I thought for sure they were about to blow up the bottle. But it was cool! and this looks way cooler than any other method.
Gravity Pour
This one is for when there is literally nothing around but a table to lean on. It is all about letting physics take care of the heavy lifting. Take hold of the bottle firmly at the neck (with the potential of a bottle of wine on the end of your hand) and position it until the base of the bottle rests against the edge of a robust table or countertop (See figure 6). Then tilt the bottle so that it is at approximately a 45-degree angle. Now start to tap the bottom of the bottle against the edge of the table.
Each tap uses the inertia of the liquid and a bit of gravity to pop the cork out. This is not the fastest option but it’s weirdly hypnotizing, and eventually, the cork will wiggle out enough to grab and pull. In my experience, it is helpful to be patient and not smack the bottle too hard — nobody wants to break glass everywhere.
Hot Water Trick
Okay, if you have proximity to a kitchen or a campfire or anything that can boil water, this is the easiest one. Boil a pot of water, then hold the bottle neck above the steam. Just hold the bottle neck, don’t dunk the whole bottle into boiling water (seriously, don’t do that) — you just want the steam on the glass near the cork. After about 30 seconds of steam exposure, the air inside the bottle will expand a little, and push the cork out. As soon as you see the cork start to move, grab it and pull. I’ve used this more than once at home when I can’t find my corkscrew after a move, and it saves the mood!
Keeping the Wine Fresh After Opening
Okay, real quick — you’ve made it this far and finally got the stubborn cork popped, but now what? Once you open your wine, you have a timewasting, countdown-clock before it starts to taste like vinegar. A lot of people don’t think of this and I know I’ve let a half bottle go bad because I forgot.
Typically, red wine will last you between 3-5 days, and whites maybe 5-7 if you’re lucky. Being corked and put away in the fridge will give you more time before needlessly dumping it out, but if you drink procrastinate drinking wine longer than you care to admit, there are vacuum sealers you can buy, but for real, just re-corking tautly helps a lot.
Anyway — so next time you’re eyeballing a cork with no corkscrew insight, don’t panic and start Google searching “emergency wine hacks” with a glassy-eyed, hopeful desperation. Just remember one of these six ways to cork a wine bottle: screw and a screwdriver, shoe and wall, key twist, bike pump, gravity pour, and hot water. Combined, you have basically the equivalent of a swiss army knife for opening wine, and never again will you allow a missing corkscrew to ruin your evening!
